Post-Thanksgiving Update

I haven't written in a while and we got some much needed time off over the holiday so I figured I'd try to put an update out here.

THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

THURSDAY
Thanksgiving was fun. We went to Mimi's as we normally do. She tried to get out of it but apparently my sister threatened her with 'I'm not coming up to visit unless you cook and have Thanksgiving at your house' so she relented. Everyone pitched in and made something and all the normal people were there, Me, Ale, Isaac, Pax, Mimi, Chuck, Autumn, Gaines, Dee, Jed, Jed's 2015 girlfriend Lisa, Zip, Chuckie and Kevin.

From what I've gathered from talking to everyone after this was one of the better Thanksgivings. Everyone had a great time. I know I did. I don't think Mimi had a great time. She takes it upon herself to do too much and I think that causes her stress. Maybe that's where I get it from.

FRIDAY
We didn't really do anything but relax and recover. I played games and hung out her Ale and the babby.

SATURDAY
Tried to set up a lunch with Autumn and Gaines so we could hang out since they made the trip the whole way here. It didn't work out so Ale and I had our own lunch which was awesome. They did come over afterwards to our house and hung out so it worked out anyway.

SUNDAY
Just did more relaxing. Got a lot of database work in.


EMPLOYEE YEAR END BONUS

We received bonuses at work for the holiday. Nothing great but better than nothing is how I'll politely describe that. The problem this year is that Ale and I got different amounts but somehow in their system the gave us the wrong ones. I got hers. She got mine. We weren't supposed to know that but we did. The official story as I understand is that there was just an error. On the paper they give you when you go into the meeting the amount was crossed out and rewritten, the deposits were wrong in our bank accounts, redacted and redeposited and the statements on the ADP website are also incorrect. Instead of fixing mine they gave me a second bonus to make up the difference. Why they didn't do something to resolve this before handing them down is something I do not understand. It really reflected badly on whoever is in charge of that and I heard all the managers were irritated as well.


MORE EX DRAMA

The boy texted me the other day at around 9-10 pm (which is super late for me, luckily I was up) telling me he was scared and that I should come get him. Mom and Anthony were fighting. What I found out was going on was that apparently she found a new boyfriend or crush or something and for some reason told the boy about it. (This must have been part of the plan because it is naive of her to think telling the boy anything will not get back to the relevant person) In hanging out with her current boyfriend (who from what I understand is just a babysitter to her) the boy must have slipped and said something. The guy immediately latched on to this and made the boy spill his guts as to everything he knew. This caused this guy to go into some sort of rage. He broke the plasma TV, her phone and it got physical between her and him. Obviously she has attempted to cloud the true events of that altercation as she is wont to do with severely confusing misinformation after the fact. The worst part, the part I find unconscionable is that she straight up puts the blame on that on Isaac. She texted me that it was his fault. Everyone has known she is incapable of taking responsibility for anything that has happened to her in her entire life but now she is starting to blame her children. I am doing my best to set the boy straight but man is she in his head. I fear for his future with the things she has done to him. I can tell he is getting smarter and can see what's going on but it some cases she still has him wrapped around her finger and it is really saddening. The boy was not the one who got a new boyfriend before breaking up with the old one. She did. I truly do not know where her head is at.

Anyway I did find out that instead of getting a PFA against this guy as she told me he promised that he will pay for the TV and phone, get a job and everything is just hunky dory and they're back together. What a wonderful gesture. You certainly wouldn't want to lose your rent-free house, etc, etc. I give this 3 months. He'll be back on the couch and everything will be as it was. Some people just don't learn and can't move on. Again as the boy gets older he will see.

I got another text of some sort recently basically saying if she can't get free healthcare for the boy then she will do nothing else to help provide it and it will fall to me to handle. Wonderful parenting! You don't pay for anything you can't lie to welfare and get for free but I'm somehow always portrayed as the bad guy to her.



BOY DRAMA CLUB

I told the boy at the beginning of the school year that he needs to get more involved with things and to do that I suggested that he join some sort of club. I don't care what. My first choice would have been some sports team but as long as you pick something I don't care. I found out at the beginning of the month that he had chosen the Penn Middle Drama Club. Ok good enough. I'm cool with that. So for the first play being held in December they had chosen to perform A Charlie Brown Christmas. Again that's fine. That's a classic. He did not chose to participate as an actor. He chose to be a part of the Stage Crew. This all makes me happy. I guess his job is to make set pieces and move them in and out during the different scenes. Good job boy. I am proud of you and I can't wait to go see the play (Dec 17th) so I can see you in action. My only concern (as it usually is): is his mother capable of getting the boy there and back to all his practices he needs to be at. My vote is on 'Extremely Unlikely' . He already needs to stay over Friday night since she can't get him there for Saturday's rehearsal. He needs to be there every single day next week and that worries me as well.

I did have a weird experience picking him up the other day from there. Apparently every parent that has a kid there tries to jam into the back parking lot when rehearsal is over and there's not enough room so a traffic jam is created. When I pulled in and saw that I parked in a lot that was away from all that and figured I'd just walk over and get him then come back. Well just as I got out of the car some guy, I don't know who, the principal, a teacher, someone who felt they were in some position of authority, sharply barked at me if they could help me. Of course me being me I instantly had 5 smart ass things I could have said but I bit my tongue and just as politely as I could answered, 'Nope just picking up my kid'. I don't know if he was confused at my refusal to get in the traffic line like every other sheep or what but it was unsettling to me.


GAS LEAK

The other day we came home from work and found several trucks with red flashing lights parked on our road. It wasn't the police so I guessed fire trucks. maybe someone had a kitchen fire or something. it ended up being the gas company. A guy came to our door to tell us that there was a leak in the line somewhere between our house and the meter on the road and that they shut our gas off. We needed to call a plumber and get it fixed before they would turn it back on. I called Chuck right away and he was in denial about it. He talked to the neighbors and got it all straightened out. I guess there really did end up being an issue because he had to pay $1000 he said to get someone to fix it. It was only out 2 full days and wasn't that big of a deal to us.


STAR WARS

Star Wars: The Force Awakens comes out on Dec 18th. I definitely want to go see it and take the boy. He wants to go with his friend Dylan so I friended his mom on Facebook so I could communicate with her and figure something out. We're definitely going when I planned so we will definitely see it. Hopefully we can work something out because this is the kind of movie you see more than once so I'm cool with going again.


CONCLUSION

Sorry so long. I should try and keep up with this more but that's okay. I finally got a good thing going in my database to log life as we go and that makes me happy. Ale makes me happy. Isaac is doing okay. Pax is the most cutest bestest babby ever. I think things are going to be okay.

Quick Update

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. I have been doing so much (that I probably should have been writing about).

I finally got my new job in December. I moved from my old Miller project group to my new Stores group. I"m finally getting to learn new things and be useful. I love this job. I'm writing SQL and learning Appworx chains and all kinds of things. There's so much to know that somedays I feel like, 'Oh yeah I"m getting it' and then the next day I'm like, 'OMG I'll never ever understand all of this'. It's all okay though. I'm just going to do the best I can and I know good things will happen.

I finally got a new car to replace my beat down Buick. I bought a 2001 PT Cruiser from a junkyard that was totaled. Someone Chuck knows does body work so he fixed it up. It took 2 months but I finally have a sweet car that hopefully won't give me problems for a long time.

And lastly, I am finally back out on my own (w Isaac). It took about a month of constant hard work but we fixed and cleaned up Chuck's old farmhouse and I moved in there. It's pretty nice and big and we like it. It's just nice to be out by myself again. I'm scared about paying all the bills with Lisa still hounding me for money but I can't stop living my life just because she's a freak.

The best part is the #mayvacation is like less than 70 hours from now. I finally get to see and be with Alejandra again. She's so awesome. So many people were asking me, 'What's going on' and we finally get to sit togehter and figure out when she can move up here and stuff.

My life is rocketing off towards good things and I love it.

What is a father to do

This weekend I finally returned to my old marital home to retrieve my belongs that have been denied to me for so long. I'm not even thinking about trying to rehash and recount all that has happened so far with this affair. If you know me then you probably know what has transpired. If not then this blog should be a good introduction to what kind of human I am being forced to deal with.

I have been trying to get my stuff for over a year now. According to her she never wanted to keep it from me. She agreed that her stuff was hers and my stuff was mine. It was written into our divorce papers even. I get all my video games and vg-related materials, all my sports collectible stuff and whatever clothes are still there. Also my dressers that my mom bought for me when I was still living with her and just the misc stuff that she knew was mine, boxes of magazines, etc. There was really no argument there. The problem here was that this was the only thing she had on me. She had my stuff and to her that was some measure of control she could use to mess with me. This was some kind of thrill for her to tell me week after week that I come come on a certain day and then cancel that right before that day arrived. I repeatedly requested from here that she just let me get a car load of stuff every week or so. That way it would be easier to handle and after a time the task would be complete. Yes this was a logical way of doing things that would be easy for both parties involved so of course there was no way she would agree to that.

A few months earlier the sheriff delivered me some papers telling me that the sheriff sale on the house would be held on May 3rd since no one was paying the mortgage anymore (I had to declare bankruptcy over this). If the house sells they post it and put a lock on the door, all possession not removed from the premises are forfeit. I was not risk losing my stuff even though the sheriff himself pretty much told us that the house would not sell, not for what the bank wanted to get out of it. I don't exactly know how these things are handled but again I was not putting my things at risk. I had it set up for Sunday May 2nd then. No more excuses or delays or mess ups. It was happened then so help me God. My crew was assembled. Chuck was going to let me use his truck and his trailer. We even put together a kind of housing on it to keep everything dry since it did rain that day. I texted Lisa the prior week to let her know what was going on. I don't think she actually believed I was coming over but that was not my problem. I guess people that cry wolf over and over have a hard time believing what other people say sometimes.

So we went over at like 10 in the morning. Luckily Lisa wasn't even there so we wouldn't have to deal with her. She never changed the door locks although she told me at least 3 times that she did (Did I mention she can tell quite extravagant tales?). She was so terrified that I was going to come over and DO SOMETHING!! Oh noes!! First thing we all noticed when we walked in was what a damn disaster area this place was. My son has to live here every other week? That is unacceptable. (I later called and filed a report with the Children's Bureau. I know they won't do anything but to have the report on record is good enough). It looked like she was actually packing to leave so that in itself was amazing. I shot right upstairs and went for my closet. There were some boxes but it seems like she thought it would be a good idea to dump my stuff out of boxes and leave it lying on the floor. My friends Jim and Joel showed up to help me so that was a big help. We starting hauling stuff out. I was amazingly surprised that the move went so smooth. I think I temporarily gained some kind of unlimited supply of energy. I kept moving and did not take a break until the job was done no matter how many heavy boxes were left. Everyone kept taking breaks and was exhausted but I kept going. Thank God for adrenaline. We got books, magazines, boxes and some dressers. I didn't see my video games though. This did not please me so I went in the basement. OMFG what in the hell is going on down here? It's even worse than upstairs. It was a absolute mess. You would think no one even lives here with how utterly disgusting it was. There were clothes piled knee deep for as far as the eye could see. Apparently this is what happens when I am not here to keep it clean down there as I used to. I feel so bad for Isaac having to live in this squalor. What kind of example does she think she's setting for him? How has this place not burned down? I cried and held him later asking him why he didn't tell me he lived like this. This was almost too much to take. Good thing I had witnesses about how this household was kept. [inside video here]

There wasn't much of my stuff downstairs just a bunch of old junk that I took anyway. Why do I not see any of my boxes of video games? I had a collection of about 600 or so games and maybe since this all went down she has returned 100 at most to me. That would leave 500 games unaccounted for. I frantically ran all over the house and even went back into the shed. They were simply not in this house. I don't know what she has done with them and I still don't as of this time. After everything that was mine that we grabbed was loaded I decided to give her a call. I needed to inform her of what happened so she did not freak out when she got here thinking someone robbed her. I also needed to find out what happened to my games. That was the thing I came over her for above all else. Needless to say she did not answer my question. Has she ever? No instead she decided to have some kind of hissy fit. Whatever I did not call to hear that so I hung up and we left.

Turns out she went to the Jeannette police dept to report me for something. I got a call from some Colonel or Corporate somebody who took her ranting and raving way too seriously. I had to call him back because I missed the exchange due to the fact I was unloading everything and when I did he threatened me with burglary charges. I had to hold my tongue which I am not usually good at doing with authority. I explained to him as calmly and as kindly as I could everything that was going on but as always he didn't seem to listen or care. The stuff he probably has to deal with on a regular basis as a cop who works in Jeannette has no doubt changed this guy in some way that I never want to even try to understand. I just kept trying to be respectful and let him know how things were as far as I understood, not the misinformation he was given by [edited for politeness sake] that human. How is it that I do everything right and yet I am the one who is constantly getting screwed over? I called the Sheriff of Westmoreland County's office this week and it was them who approved my plan. Until the sheriff sells that house it's my name on the deed. They told me I could even smash a window to get in if I had to. It was my house! She may live there but can someone tell me the last time she paid rent to anyone? Is her name on the deed? I don't even know exactly what his terms were. He seemed more interested in berating me then trying to figure out what had actually transpired here. I got a text from Lisa later that said 'Sorry'. Sorry? For what? Going to the police because you wouldn't let me get my stuff? For the abhorrent conditions you subject my son to living in? For doing whatever you did to my video game collection that you refuse to man up and tell me about? I texted her back that I absolutely refuse to talk to her about anything until she can grow up and hold an adult conversation with me about this. Whatever she wants back from me can surely be dealt with easily if she would just come clean with whatever dastardly deeds she's been up to.

Apparently one parent despite the high standards of parenting and having the best interests of the child in mind at all times cannot do anything legally to prevent the child from being exposed to the Jerry Springer scumball lifestyle that supports no structure or rules of any kind that is the way of life for the other parent. Unless there is physical abuse, nobody will do anything. I now understand that there can be things much worse than physical abuse. How can Isaac hope to achieve when all I try to teach him each week goes out the door when he goes over to her every other Friday? It really really makes me sad. Isaac is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. You hear people use that expression a lot but in my case it's absolutely true. I thought I knew what love and self-sacrifice were before but since this wonderful little boy has entered my life I now know that I didn't until him. I would do anything for him and I do not want him to grow up with the obstacles that Lisa's lifestyle are going to throw in his way. I can only parent twice as hard and hope it sticks with him. I can't give up. It makes me so sad but I have to believe that I can get thru this and get my life back on track for him. Get a new place to live and continue the stable family life I present to him. It's an amazing challenge but I will do as much as I can possibly can. My parents know what I do and so do my friends and they will be there to help us. For that I am thankful.