What is a father to do

This weekend I finally returned to my old marital home to retrieve my belongs that have been denied to me for so long. I'm not even thinking about trying to rehash and recount all that has happened so far with this affair. If you know me then you probably know what has transpired. If not then this blog should be a good introduction to what kind of human I am being forced to deal with.

I have been trying to get my stuff for over a year now. According to her she never wanted to keep it from me. She agreed that her stuff was hers and my stuff was mine. It was written into our divorce papers even. I get all my video games and vg-related materials, all my sports collectible stuff and whatever clothes are still there. Also my dressers that my mom bought for me when I was still living with her and just the misc stuff that she knew was mine, boxes of magazines, etc. There was really no argument there. The problem here was that this was the only thing she had on me. She had my stuff and to her that was some measure of control she could use to mess with me. This was some kind of thrill for her to tell me week after week that I come come on a certain day and then cancel that right before that day arrived. I repeatedly requested from here that she just let me get a car load of stuff every week or so. That way it would be easier to handle and after a time the task would be complete. Yes this was a logical way of doing things that would be easy for both parties involved so of course there was no way she would agree to that.

A few months earlier the sheriff delivered me some papers telling me that the sheriff sale on the house would be held on May 3rd since no one was paying the mortgage anymore (I had to declare bankruptcy over this). If the house sells they post it and put a lock on the door, all possession not removed from the premises are forfeit. I was not risk losing my stuff even though the sheriff himself pretty much told us that the house would not sell, not for what the bank wanted to get out of it. I don't exactly know how these things are handled but again I was not putting my things at risk. I had it set up for Sunday May 2nd then. No more excuses or delays or mess ups. It was happened then so help me God. My crew was assembled. Chuck was going to let me use his truck and his trailer. We even put together a kind of housing on it to keep everything dry since it did rain that day. I texted Lisa the prior week to let her know what was going on. I don't think she actually believed I was coming over but that was not my problem. I guess people that cry wolf over and over have a hard time believing what other people say sometimes.

So we went over at like 10 in the morning. Luckily Lisa wasn't even there so we wouldn't have to deal with her. She never changed the door locks although she told me at least 3 times that she did (Did I mention she can tell quite extravagant tales?). She was so terrified that I was going to come over and DO SOMETHING!! Oh noes!! First thing we all noticed when we walked in was what a damn disaster area this place was. My son has to live here every other week? That is unacceptable. (I later called and filed a report with the Children's Bureau. I know they won't do anything but to have the report on record is good enough). It looked like she was actually packing to leave so that in itself was amazing. I shot right upstairs and went for my closet. There were some boxes but it seems like she thought it would be a good idea to dump my stuff out of boxes and leave it lying on the floor. My friends Jim and Joel showed up to help me so that was a big help. We starting hauling stuff out. I was amazingly surprised that the move went so smooth. I think I temporarily gained some kind of unlimited supply of energy. I kept moving and did not take a break until the job was done no matter how many heavy boxes were left. Everyone kept taking breaks and was exhausted but I kept going. Thank God for adrenaline. We got books, magazines, boxes and some dressers. I didn't see my video games though. This did not please me so I went in the basement. OMFG what in the hell is going on down here? It's even worse than upstairs. It was a absolute mess. You would think no one even lives here with how utterly disgusting it was. There were clothes piled knee deep for as far as the eye could see. Apparently this is what happens when I am not here to keep it clean down there as I used to. I feel so bad for Isaac having to live in this squalor. What kind of example does she think she's setting for him? How has this place not burned down? I cried and held him later asking him why he didn't tell me he lived like this. This was almost too much to take. Good thing I had witnesses about how this household was kept. [inside video here]

There wasn't much of my stuff downstairs just a bunch of old junk that I took anyway. Why do I not see any of my boxes of video games? I had a collection of about 600 or so games and maybe since this all went down she has returned 100 at most to me. That would leave 500 games unaccounted for. I frantically ran all over the house and even went back into the shed. They were simply not in this house. I don't know what she has done with them and I still don't as of this time. After everything that was mine that we grabbed was loaded I decided to give her a call. I needed to inform her of what happened so she did not freak out when she got here thinking someone robbed her. I also needed to find out what happened to my games. That was the thing I came over her for above all else. Needless to say she did not answer my question. Has she ever? No instead she decided to have some kind of hissy fit. Whatever I did not call to hear that so I hung up and we left.

Turns out she went to the Jeannette police dept to report me for something. I got a call from some Colonel or Corporate somebody who took her ranting and raving way too seriously. I had to call him back because I missed the exchange due to the fact I was unloading everything and when I did he threatened me with burglary charges. I had to hold my tongue which I am not usually good at doing with authority. I explained to him as calmly and as kindly as I could everything that was going on but as always he didn't seem to listen or care. The stuff he probably has to deal with on a regular basis as a cop who works in Jeannette has no doubt changed this guy in some way that I never want to even try to understand. I just kept trying to be respectful and let him know how things were as far as I understood, not the misinformation he was given by [edited for politeness sake] that human. How is it that I do everything right and yet I am the one who is constantly getting screwed over? I called the Sheriff of Westmoreland County's office this week and it was them who approved my plan. Until the sheriff sells that house it's my name on the deed. They told me I could even smash a window to get in if I had to. It was my house! She may live there but can someone tell me the last time she paid rent to anyone? Is her name on the deed? I don't even know exactly what his terms were. He seemed more interested in berating me then trying to figure out what had actually transpired here. I got a text from Lisa later that said 'Sorry'. Sorry? For what? Going to the police because you wouldn't let me get my stuff? For the abhorrent conditions you subject my son to living in? For doing whatever you did to my video game collection that you refuse to man up and tell me about? I texted her back that I absolutely refuse to talk to her about anything until she can grow up and hold an adult conversation with me about this. Whatever she wants back from me can surely be dealt with easily if she would just come clean with whatever dastardly deeds she's been up to.

Apparently one parent despite the high standards of parenting and having the best interests of the child in mind at all times cannot do anything legally to prevent the child from being exposed to the Jerry Springer scumball lifestyle that supports no structure or rules of any kind that is the way of life for the other parent. Unless there is physical abuse, nobody will do anything. I now understand that there can be things much worse than physical abuse. How can Isaac hope to achieve when all I try to teach him each week goes out the door when he goes over to her every other Friday? It really really makes me sad. Isaac is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. You hear people use that expression a lot but in my case it's absolutely true. I thought I knew what love and self-sacrifice were before but since this wonderful little boy has entered my life I now know that I didn't until him. I would do anything for him and I do not want him to grow up with the obstacles that Lisa's lifestyle are going to throw in his way. I can only parent twice as hard and hope it sticks with him. I can't give up. It makes me so sad but I have to believe that I can get thru this and get my life back on track for him. Get a new place to live and continue the stable family life I present to him. It's an amazing challenge but I will do as much as I can possibly can. My parents know what I do and so do my friends and they will be there to help us. For that I am thankful.